then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
