Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
