What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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