two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
