im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sober January is a disaster.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
