What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
