Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
