Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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