you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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