Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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