I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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