I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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