She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
