I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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