but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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