My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
