Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
