Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i will never coherently bang her
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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