What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
