Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize