The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i now understand why vodka
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
