I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize