Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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