I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
