I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
