lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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