apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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