I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
