My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
