How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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