obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
