im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
