I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
