Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
