he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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