The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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