i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
