dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
