I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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