yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
