What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
