She said her name was "party"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
