Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
