then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
FUCK WHALES
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
