your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
