is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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