I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
