the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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