If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
