All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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