I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
