You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
