He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
