two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
