She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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