I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
