So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
