if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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