38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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