so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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