they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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