Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
