hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
