I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
