no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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